Nina's Blog

Climbing Mount Kilimanjaro

Wed, 28 Jul 2010 19:06:00 -0400

My Dear Working Wisdom subscribers, clients (and potential clients), colleagues, friends and anyone who may have just now found their way, serendipitously, to my website and blog!

I have BIG personal news that I so wish to share with you!

In January 2011 I will be climbing Mount Kilimanjaro and am raising funds for a Women's Leadership Centre in Nairobi. Our group of 20 is targeting to raise $200,000.

As is the mountain, my personal goal to raise 1/20th of the total--meaning $10,000--is steep, but I believe achievable with your help.

I'm starting my fund raising early, and am asking often...if you will kindly lend your encouragement and belief in me, by way of sponsoring my climb, and give to this worthy cause to grow much-needed personal leadership among African women.

By offering your emotional and charitable support, I promise, you will:

significantly fuel my inspiration to work hard at my grueling training regime between now and January 2011
fortify my courage and perseverance to achieve my ultimate climb goal and, most importantly of all,
keenly demonstrate your own commitment to international citizenship.

A brilliant three-for-one return--do you agree? :

If my effort and appeal moves you to cheer me on and donate to this worthy cause, for now, please let me know by email, phone call or on-line response to this blog entry.

Click here to make a secure on-line donation.

And please also know, of course, that Charitable Tax Receipts will be given for all donations.

I'm honoured, and count among my blessings, that my professional and personal circle of connections includes YOU, and am sending your way my heartfelt gratitude for your consideration of my request and, even more, for your generous donation, shortly,

Nina

P. S. In addition to your personal charitable contribution, if you believe your company, organization, association, community group or even some of your own circle of friends and family may be moved to help sponsor my climb (and build this African Women's Centre), I'd be most grateful if you would forward my message and sponsorship appeal. Thank-you! FYI, I will use my blog, and no doubt some of my Working Wisdom articles, too, to share with you my on-going training and fundraising progress over the next six months.

So let the climb begin, and may we ALL ALWAYS FEEL PASSION FOR ALL WE DO AND ALL WE SUPPORT!

The Motivation to Write

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 19:23:00 -0400

Three of my friends are currently fretting over the writing of their books, or rather, their lack of it. I too know this feeling from time-to-time. An idea can brew around in one's head for quite a while, but getting those first few words down are always the hardest, especially when you feel your motivation waning (but believe me, excitement for the project comes around again; it always does--these things are so cyclical).

If you can relate, the following strategies might help give you encouragement when you feel you're in a writing funk:

Set small goals for your writing. A mere ten minutes a day is better than nothing (even if half of that time is spent pondering, "What to write, what to write?"
Make a pact with yourself by writing down/deciding how many words you'll commit to writing during this sit (even if it's only a small word count of e.g. 200/300-500 words per entry); tell a trusted mentor or friend your word count commitment if you like and have them hold your feet to the fire over it! Sometimes having someone to report in to/someone to whom you promise to complete your task, helps (like using a personal trainer at the gym, instead of doing your routine all on your own). Most of us work harder at the gym if we have the personal trainer on our backs. Agree?
Take some form of writing tools everywhere you go, whether a blank book you keep in your car or a smaller wire-ringed notebook and pen you stick in your pocket or purse, so you'll be spontaneously ready when the muse comes. Most days have at least some empty and idle moments, whether sitting in the car waiting for your kids after swimming, skating, piano lessons, riding public transit, or whatever
Like a Pavlovian dog, setting aside a particular time slot and place to write could eventually condition your subconscious into snapping into writing mode when you arrive there...just like the ring of a bell. Maybe it might even be kind of fun and symbolic to actually have a bell to ring when you start!
Some writers practice "free-association" writing as a preliminary or warm-up session (and sometimes instead of an actual serious writing session on the odd day); write whatever stray thoughts come to mind, like Julia Cameron's suggestion of "Morning Pages" (from her book, The Artist's Way). I know you may have a TON of reading on your list, but, The Artist's Way, may be a valuable volume to read if you're feeling stuck or blocked.

When it comes to enthusiasm for your writing, give these suggestions some thought and hold fast to your dream to create your article or book.

Three Questions

Fri, 27 Nov 2009 14:50:00 -0400

by Leo Tolstoy

One day it occurred to a certain emperor that if he only knew the answer to three questions, he would never stray in any matter.

What is the best time to do each thing? Who are the most important people to work with? What is the most important thing to do at all times?

The emperor issued a decree throughout his kingdom announcing that whoever could answer the questions would receive a great reward. Many who read the decree made their way to the palace at once, each person with a different answer.

In reply to the first question, one person advised that the emperor make a thorough time schedule, consecrating every hour, day, month, and year for certain tasks and then follow the schedule to the letter. Only then could he hope to do every task at the right time.

Another person replied that it was impossible to plan in advance and that the emperor should put all vain amusements aside and remain attentive to everything in order to know what to do at what time.

Someone else insisted that, by himself, the emperor could never hope to have all the foresight and competence necessary to decide when to do each and every task and what he really needed was to set up a Council of the Wise and then to act according to their advice.

Someone else said that certain matters required immediate decision and could not wait for consultation, but if he wanted to know in advance what was going to happen he should consult magicians and soothsayers.

The responses to the second question also lacked accord.

One person said the emperor needed to place all his trust in administrators, another urged reliance on priests and monks, while others recommended physicians. Still others put their faith in warriors.

The third question drew a similar variety of answers. Some said science was the most important pursuit. Others insisted on religion. Yet others claimed the most important thing was military skill.

The emperor was not pleased with any of the answers, and no reward was given.

After several nights of reflection, the emperor resolved to visit a hermit who lived up on the mountain and was said to be an enlightened man. The emperor wished to find the hermit and to ask him the three questions, though he knew the hermit never left the mountains and was known to receive only the poor, refusing to have anything to do with persons of wealth and power. So the emperor disguised himself as a simple peasant and ordered his attendants to wait for him at the foot of the mountain while he climbed the slope alone to seek the hermit.

Reaching the holy man's dwelling place, the emperor found the hermit digging a garden in front of his hut. When the hermit saw the stranger, he nodded his head in greeting and continued to dig. The labour was obviously hard on him. He was an old man, and each time he thrust his spade into the ground to turn the earth, he heaved heavily.

The emperor approached him and said, "I have come here to ask your help with three questions: When is the best time to do each thing? Who are the most important people to work with? What is the most important thing to do at all times?"

The hermit listened attentively but only patted the emperor on the shoulder and continued digging. The emperor said, "You must be tired. Here, let me give you hand with that." The hermit thanked him, handed the emperor a spade, and then sat down on the ground to rest.

After he had dug two rows, the emperor stopped and turned to the hermit and repeated his three questions. The hermit still did not answer, but instead stood up and pointed to the spade and said, "Why don't you rest now? I can take over again." But the emperor continued to dig. One hour passed, then two. Finally the sun began to set behind the mountain. The emperor put down the spade and said to the hermit, "I came to ask if you could answer my three questions. But if you can't give me any answer, please let me know so that I can get on my way home."

The hermit lifted his head and asked the emperor, "Do you hear someone running over there?" The emperor turned his head. They both saw a man with a long white beard emerge from the woods. He ran wildly, pressing his hands against a bloody wound in the stomach. The man ran toward the emperor before falling unconscious to the ground, where he lay groaning. Opening the man's clothing, the emperor and hermit saw that the man had received a deep gash. The emperor cleaned the wound thoroughly and then used his own shirt to bandage it, but the blood completely soaked it within minutes. He rinsed the shirt out and bandaged the wound a second time and continued to do so until the flow of blood had stopped.

At last the wounded man regained consciousness and asked for a drink of water. The emperor ran down to the stream and brought back a jug of fresh water. Meanwhile, the sun had disappeared and the night air had begun to turn cold. The hermit gave the emperor a hand in carrying the man into the hut where they laid him down on the hermit's bed. The man closed his eyes and lay quietly. The emperor was worn out from the long day of climbing the mountain and digging the garden. Leaning against the doorway, he fell asleep. When he rose, the sun had already risen over the mountain. For a moment he forgot where he was and what he had come here for. He looked over to the bed and saw the wounded man also looking around him in confusion. When he saw the emperor, he stared at him intently and then said in a faint whisper, "Please forgive me."

"But what have you done that I should forgive you?" the emperor asked.

"You do not know me, your majesty, but I know you. I was your sworn enemy, and I had vowed to take vengeance on you, for during the last war you killed my brother and seized my property. When I learned that you were coming alone to the mountain to meet the hermit, I resolved to surprise you on your way back to kill you. But after waiting a long time there was still no sign of you, and so I left my ambush in order to seek you out. But instead of finding you, I came across your attendants, who recognized me, giving me this wound. Luckily, I escaped and ran here. If I hadn't met you I would surely be dead by now. I had intended to kill you, but instead you saved my life. I am ashamed and grateful beyond words. If I live, I vow to be your servant for the rest of my life, and I will bid my children and grandchildren to do the same. Please grant me your forgiveness."

The emperor was overjoyed to see that he was so easily reconciled with a former enemy. He not only forgave the man, but promised to return all the man's property and to send his own physician and servants to wait on the man until he was completely healed. After ordering his attendants to take the man home, the emperor returned to see the hermit. Before returning to the palace the emperor wanted to repeat his three questions one last time. He found the hermit sowing seeds in the earth they had dug the day before.

The hermit stood up and looked at the emperor. "But your questions have already been answered."

"How's that?" the emperor asked, puzzled.

"Yesterday, if you had not taken pity on my age and given me a hand with digging these beds, you would have been attacked by that man on your way home. Then you would have deeply regretted not staying with me. Therefore the most important time was the time you were digging the beds, the most important person was myself, and the most important pursuit was to help me. Later, when the wounded man ran up here, the most important time was the time you spent dressing his wound, for if you had not cared for him he would have died and you would have lost the chance to be reconciled with him. Likewise, he was the most important person, and the most important pursuit was taking care of his wound. Remember that there is only one important time and it is NOW. The present moment is the only time over which we have dominion. The most important person is always the person with whom you are, who is right before you, for who knows if you will have dealings with any other person in the future. The most important pursuit is making that person, the one standing at your side, happy, for that alone is the pursuit of life."

Funny Days

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 18:04:00 -0400

My darling 12 and a half year old Soft-Coated Wheaten Terrier, Angus, was diagnosed with terminal, inoperable Oral Cancer on August 6, 2009, but is still in fine enough shape for now to be with us a while longer. He's just in need of some special consideration and TLC. I've started pureeing Angus' food in the blender for the first time yesterday.

Picture this: It's 7:00 a.m. and I'm dollopping his lumpy food into the blend with a little warm water. The food bubble won't pop in the middle/the vortex, and it keeps mounting. I open the lid, while the blender is still operating, and poke a hole into the middle of the pureed guck and POP!...pureed dog food ALL OVER ME! All over my face, in my hair and even under my eye lids! Yuck! It was just like that Jerry Seinfeld episode where Jerry's girlfriend looks into the toilet bowl because she hears a noise percolating in there and then the thing explodes on her...and poor Jerry can't stomach the idea of dating her any longer because she's been covered with toilet water and he's such a germ-a-phobe. Funny, eh--about ME, but YUCK!, all the same!

So that's how my September 22nd, 2009 business day STARTED.

THEN, at 8:30a.m. I ran an errand in my car. I've noticed for several days now that I must have a little spider in somewhere in my car, because every morning there are little spider webs strewn around. I'm driving back from my errand and right in the middle of singing along to a radio tune (Eric Carmen's Hungry Eyes from, Dirty Dancing), down came a BIG spider--I mean BIG!--right in FRONT OF MY FACE! It was all I could do to pull over, grab the web and try to shoo the thing our of my car! It fell in my lap, then on the floor and then, finally, I swooshed it out the car, all without killing the little beastie (I've finally arrived at a point in my life where I don't kill little things unless I really must). If this episode was a movie, I'm sure the audience would have just been howling!

So, I'm thinking there must be some sort of Candid Camera on me today. Punked? Or maybe a Just for Laughs crew out there having a good laugh at my expense? Or maybe it's just GOD having some cosmic fun with me today. Regardless, I feel I've been in TWO comedy skits--at my expense--so far this day and it's not even 10 a.m.! I'll be looking over my shoulder the rest of the day, I'm sure (and, perhaps because of the Careful What You Wish For Philosophy, I may just end up with some more funny tales to tell). I wonder what other outrageous antics may be in the stars for me this September 22nd, eh???

So! May YOU have as funny a day as I seem to be having so far! :)

And remember this: Alfred Hitchcock used to say that drama was just regular life with the boring parts cut out. Well Comedy is sort of the same--yes?

Hope you have a laugh or two or three today!

A time for all good people to come to the aid of those in need

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 13:58:00 -0400

Yesterday at the gas station a woman locked herself out of her car while it was still running (purse and keys inside). A man offered to help her (he, coincidentally was a locksmith and had the means)...for $30.00!!! I commented that it would be nicer if he helped her just to be kind...to be chivalrous??? He said that in this economy he had to make a buck anyway he could and that, "How else am I going to pay for my locksmith's license?" So what??? He cruises gas stations on Sunday mornings hoping to find people who've locked themselves out of their cars??? This is his business strategy for making money/for earning a living???

I suggested to this damsel-in-distress that her $30.00 would be better put to use towards a CAA membership, which she could get on-the-spot and, at the same time, receive her first service. I've been a die-hard member since 1975 and have now lost track regarding how many times they've helped me out of tight spots over the years, from battery charging, highway flats to, yes, even rescuing my dog from inside the car, in winter, when the new fangled electronic doors spontaneously locked.

When the locksmith heard me suggest CAA as an alternate to his "services" (that would take money out of his pocket and put it elsewhere), he retorted, "Okay, okay. Since you're in a spot, and it's an old car, I'll do it for $20.00!" As if being an older car had anything to do with it. This "business man" was clueless! He certainly didn't have a proper brain for growing his business (nor, seemingly, a chivalrous bone in his body). He didn't get the bigger picture...that maybe this stranded-at-the-gas-station woman would have sang his heroic praises for days (and maybe weeks and months) afterwards, to lots of neighbours, friends and colleagues, perhaps even going on to book him to change all her house locks the very next day, thereby, giving him a much bigger pay day, tomorrow, than the $20.00 to $30.00 he was trying to hustle today!

The woman took my advice and called CAA (who, on a sleepy Sunday spring morning, arrived with a smile and that neat door opening tool, in less than 10 minutes!). A bad news story turned into a good news story for this woman; she now has all kinds of 27/7 roadside coverage down the metaphoric and literal road. And as for that locksmith shyster, well, he lost...everything.

Whether it's helping out a person at a gas station on a Sunday morning, assisting a fellow colleague with their overwhelming workload when you have time to spare or linking up an in-between-jobs friend with others in your networking circle or business community, lend a generous hand, as the old Bronwnie's motto used encourage...anyway you can. Now, more than ever, is the time for all good people to come to the aid of those in need. It'll be good for their sprit and for your soul.

In Business and in Life, What Goes Around Comes Can Surely Come Around: Practice Generosity

Fri, 01 May 2009 17:25:00 -0400

When I was in high school I heard a saying that really stuck with me:

Be careful whose fingers you step on, on your way up the ladder because you just might meet them on your way down."

I recall, years ago, the hard slogging, in-the-trenches days of prospecting clients one phone call and one meeting at a time when I was first started out as an independent speaker. These were the days before emails and websites and such. Back in those earliest of days the fanciest business electronics were fax machines and phones (well, the computer, too; I'm not THAT old!). Every day I worked the phone and my networks to secure opportunities to be of service to potential clients who were, indeed, looking for the kind of services I provided. I recall wooing one particular corporate connection, as I'd heard on good authority that this client may well have been looking for the kind of speaking service. Her name was Sylvia and when I called to make my initial introductions she was cool and said she couldn't talk right then but, somewhat reluctantly, agreed to my follow up the next day. When I called back the next day, she gave me that same line and we proceeded with this game for a few more go arounds. After leaving things alone for two weeks I followed up once again (as every entrepreneur knows, in the early days of business the follow up is everything!). Now I was only ever able to reach her voice mail...no matter how many times I tried. About a month later still, I followed up yet again. Voice mail purgatory persisted. Apparently Sylvia had slipped into a fissure in the space/time continuum and I was becoming convinced she no longer really existed. Months and months later, I thought I'd try again. Sylvia finally did answer the phone--I was like a dog with a bone about the follow up back then, never understanding why people just couldn't practice the concept of, "No means No"...just tell me "no" and I'll stop!). Sylvia passively aggressively "blew me off", as the expression goes, in a frosty and brusk fashion about being too busy to talk to me, virtually forever. I made a literal note to self and moved on finally, surrendering to the philosophy, "Some will, some won't So what-next!". Then came the day when a different saying came to be played out between us. The saying of, 'What goes around comes around."

A dear friend of mine makes her professional contribution as an executive coach. One day, years after my Sylvia experience, above, I received a call from my friend, asking:

"Nina, I'm working with a terrific ex-senior executive who has been downsized and has left the corporate world. She's gone entrepreneurial now, and because I've told her of your own wonderful success transiting years ago from corporate life to a self-employed, entrepreneurial focus, I've encouraged her to have a chat with you...if you'd be open this, of course."

Well, even back then, I was always very generous and kind sharing my time in this regard, and always available to do a favour for a client or any friend or acquaintance from my circle. So, of course, I said, "Sure, what's her name?" Sylvia _____. Thud. Hmm. I was immediately transported back in time. It was the same person I'd come up against in my first year of entrepreneurial life.! What were the odds? And you know what? Even though today I would have risen above my old scabbed-over-wound and nose-out-of-joint tender professional ego and helped this Sylvia person (if only for my friend's sake...because she'd asked me), back then I just wasn't enlightened or forgiving enough, or whatever, to say, "yes". I reneged. Couldn't bring myself to help out a person in the now, who would not help me back then. Back then Sylvia demonstrated no common professional courtesy in her words nor manner towards my enquiries. No grace or kindness in her demeanor all those years ago. No concern then about how long another's memory of her may last. I just wasn't big enough back then to rise above, take the high road and help. Today I would, but not back then.

So, Lesson 1: "Be careful whose fingers you step on, on your way up your corporate career ladder, because you just might meet them on your way down."

Lesson 2: "What goes around often really does come around."

My advice: be professionally nice and helpful and giving and caring to others as best you sincerely can now because it's the right thing to do--because you can and should. But if you can't do that for all the right reasons, consider rising above personal pettiness and helping another for the self-serving/self-centered reasons of your own potentially challenged professional future. You just never know when it's going to be your turn one day. And maybe on such a day--since we all have call display now--if you do choose to follow my above advice, someone who you hope will generously give you a leg up, will see it's you calling and pick up.

A Class Act of Customer Service

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 09:30:00 -0400

I had a stellar experience being of service to a particular client a couple of days ago. They were a class act from their very first call of initial enquiry regarding the booking of my services, clean on through to their superb efficiency at handling and processing all administrivia between us, and then on to their care for personally arranging my transportation back to the airport.

A speaker doesn't need this level of queen or king-bee royal treatment and fuss--we know how to flag cars for ourselves, go solo schlepping suitcases through hotel lobbies, up elevators and along halls to single-occupancy rooms, followed by ordering solitary in-room, mid-evening dinners consumed with the companionship of the tube--but when extra care is lavished by a client, well, it is very nice, indeed!

My client graciously chose to meet me at the airport and then, knowing I'd flown right through the dinner hour--on a carrier that doesn't serve any meals--which one does these days???--whisked me off to one of her favourite Italian eateries. And, to shower even more TLC upon me, my client's boss met us at that restaurant, too, and we all had a lovely time getting acquainted over the next two hours. An escort back to my hotel at night's end and into one of the prettiest suites in the hotel I went, balcony and all--facing the night's serenity and sounds of the Ottawa River, just beyond the buzz of the city centre. The following morning I had time to truly appreciate the thoughtfulness of the suite chosen for me for this stay. I leisurely ate my room service breakfast on that balcony, now viewing the full daylight splendor of the Ottawa River in early spring, including the songs of chickadees, cardinals, ospreys, crows, red-winged blackbirds, ducks--yes, it's true, I know my birds!--and even the magical good omen of spotting a family of deer on the far shore! What a wonderful experience I'd had being of service to this client so far, and I'd not even yet delivered my keynote presentation!

Needless to say, when a speaker's out-of-town engagement starts out this well--because a client goes that extra mile taking the time to demonstrate care, effort and concern for their "guest's" needs and comforts --a speaker just knows that reciprocity will flow all the more naturally and inspiration from them to their audience. In truth, a speaker will give all audiences their very best absolutely every time out--even when the odd client and/or audience is less than gracious or resistant to receiving and considering the speaker's message. But a ready, willing and able audience and client--ready to interface with the speaker and engage before, during and after the presentation--is a speaker's most favourite, delicious delight.

And so the audience on this particular day--fortified with all those lovely pre-presentation good omens and feelings that were spurred on and set-up by their event planners--was fabulous. They were learning ready, conference ready and despite the one or two, or perhaps even three or four out-of-the-gate-skeptics, the group was pleased to be there and keen to participate. And by the end of the presentation it was very clear to me that all--even the few carping skeptics--were engaged and glad to have attended. A lovely day. A wonderful client experience. An honoured speaker. My job was effectively done. Mission over-the-top successfully accomplished...with pleasure. And now, back to Ottawa two more times, for two new and different client events next week! Ottawa sure does seem to be where it's at in the merry, merry month of May--Tulip Festival and all!

Is it the customer's job to give direction to the staff member?

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 22:54:00 -0400

I got sloppy about taking care of some personal business today and, as a result, found I'd best choose a speedier than normal route to completion. Doing my very best to protect the actual name of the organization in question, I arrived at their doorstep expecting to pay a premium for speedier service...and was fine with that. I joined the end of a fairly long lineup and was fine with that, too--punishment for my own tardiness, I chided myself.

I was patient in line, despite the five or six people in front of me, however, I wasn't all that patient with the customer service rep behind the counter. Boy, if I'd only had a match, I'd have lit a fire under her! What was she thinking?

The building in question boasted one whole wall of windows (I'm sure many an employee would love to have such a view their whole workday through!). The day was an early spring stunner. Warm. Bright. Sunny. If you had to be inside--whether customer or employee--the expanse of windows were a pleasure and consolation, indeed. And all six along the horizontal way, were opened! Perfect for feeling the breeze.

While still in line, I heard one service rep tell the other that the windows should be closed, as the air conditioning was on. The first person made this comment to the second because it was the second person's idea to open all the windows in the first place. Know what I mean? Granted, because we're all so mad these days about energy conservation, being green, etc., I understood the logic about closing the windows, but the rep who felt obliged to do so promptly dropped what she was doing, mid-client, came from behind her station and merely shuffled over to close each of the six windows. This, while the customer being served remained at the counter, somewhat dumbfounded that she had been abandoned pretty much mid-sentence. The rest of us "linesmen" were sporting similar perplexed faces, too! What was to be said? What was to be done? Count to ten or recite the classic Serenity Prayer, perhaps? We were at their mercy.

Finally. My (unlucky) turn, now. Why unlucky? I got the slowpoke. I explained my need for the speediest service possible. I was offered two options, each with their own special, company specific names (which meant nothing to me, as the jargony names were not self-explanatory). So I asked the obvious question, "What's the difference, price-wise?" My rep's response? "I have no idea." Honestly, that was her response. "I have no idea"! I wondered if I was on Just for Laughs and the man with the hidden camera was about to pop out and tell me I'd been had! But no. This was real life, and this was a real, everyday customer service rep and real--unfortunately-- everyday customer service sloth. And so I was obliged to ask then next obvious question, "Well if you don't know, can you find someone who does?" And she did. The thing is this, do we really have to teach and train people to do the obvious/to take even the most basic of customer service initiative? Isn't this a no-brainer??? Isn't it obvious that you don't drop what you're doing mid-client to go shuffling along to close six windows? Isn't it obvious that if you have, "no idea", then find out? Is it the customer's job to give direction to the staff member?

Whether private or public sector--especially in these trying days of tight, tight, tight money and consumers' competing options for purchasing services--we'd all better smarten up and plan to do better, fast, if we want to stay in business! Most of the time customer's do have choice, and more times than not--usually without companies ever knowing why--given a good enough reason (like service rep sloth!) customers will exercise their options and choices with their feet and with their wallets!

Settling for less than perfect

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 16:38:00 -0400

My grade 9 history teacher taught me an important and even profound life lesson, all those years ago, about appreciating what you have right now. I'd received a mark of 29 out of 30 on a term test. While debriefing the test with is class, my teacher explained, question-by-question, how he awarded marks. From that, I was convinced I'd been short-changed and should have, in fact, received a perfect 30/30. Once the bell rang and the class had cleared, I somewhat cockily and self-assuredly approached Mr. K to point out that, in my opinion (based on what he explained in class that day), he'd made a mistake and should have awarded me that one sweet, additional mark, granting me the perfection I deserved. As an adult, I can so clearly now see his perspective but, as a 14 year old, I could not.

This is what happened next: Mr. K gave me a good stare. It was hard to read his face. He took the paper from my hand, had a long re-read of my answers (which I interpreted as a good sign) and then declared, "Ha! Look here, Nina, I shouldn't have given you a mark right here, for this question, at all! What was I thinking?" He promptly took out his red pen, scratched out the 29/30 mark at the top of my page and replaced it with a 28! What was a skinny little nine-r to do? He then punctuated his point by saying, "You'd better get out of here now, before I find another mark to deduct!" Touché -- I don't think I knew that French expression back in 1971, but I certainly felt its sentiment. I scooted out of that classroom with wings on my feet and never looked back...and also never again asked Mr. K, nor any other teacher, for that matter, for a one-mark-better grade, when I'd already been awarded one of which to be proud!

At work, just as at school, sometimes you've just got to know when to, "take the money and run"...to say, "I'll stick, thank-you very much!"...and be sincerely happy with what you've got! J

Mr. K has recently passed away and, although he wasn't one of my absolute favourite teachers, he was one that taught me a terrific life lesson. Perhaps he was one of my best teachers, after all.

Japanese toilet-cleaning superstition

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 18:47:00 -0400

Back on March 13, 2007 the Globe and Mail newspaper ran a little ditty on its fun and quirky Social Studies page that revealed, "In Japan, fortune tellers are advising those who want to be successful in life (and at work) to start by scrubbing the bathroom (reported by Reuters). Apparently a recently published Japanese book entitled, Cleaning the Toilet to Attract Luck, is the latest in a series advising readers on how to attract good fortune with a brush and has been keenly covered in magazines and television programs. Linking a clean toilet to good fortune, and perhaps even greater beauty, has existed in Japan for many years, so says book editor Yuka Soma.

"Hmm", I thought, "...sounds like a manipulative plot to get the bathroom spick and spanned more often, if you ask me!" Still, like buying a lottery ticket when you hear the pot's a really big one, I found that come that very night, I couldn't resist getting out the Mr. Clean and giving my toilet a good swish around the ole bowl before lights out. And whaddaya think happened the very next day? Even before I arrived at my desk, I'd received two emails and one voice mail wishing to book my services!

Now I know what you're thinking--coincidence...serendipity...spring's a predictable time of year for booking a lot of engagements; all true. Still...it was kind of fun to think that scrubbing the toilet--and doing so with pleasure rather than pain--had something to do with this good fortune. And so I did it the next night; and the following day...another firmly booked keynote engagement seemingly fell in my lap. No kidding! Needless to say, like a ballplayer who won't change his socks when on a lucky streak, I've been scrubbing away nightly now. And, although that same rhythm of booking hasn't quite kept up with the number of scrubs I've completed, I guess my luck has continued because my toilet bowl has never been cleaner! J

You know, quiet meditation and contemplation can happen when you perform--in joyful and purposeful ways--activities you would otherwise call boring, dreaded or undesirable chores (and, trust me, until recently, I've always considered cleaning the toilet bowl as an undesirable chore!). It reminds me of a poignant scene from the movie Gandhi, in which the Mahatma (played by Ben Kingsley) berates his wife and threatens to throw her out of the commune if she will not do her dutiful rotation of cleaning the latrine. She insists this work is beneath her and is only fit for the "untouchables". Gandhi sternly educates his wife in the necessities of a healthy and fully functioning "team" (my word not his), declaring that all of the commune's members must perform all of the necessary jobs and chores, and must do so with joy and appreciation of the contribution that each role offers. With new awareness, Mrs. Gandhi gladly, then, accepts and participates in cleaning the latrine, thanks to this split-second moment of enlightenment prompted by her wise husband's clear vision and deep understanding of the bigger picture of a fully functioning and loving unit.

In today's workplace--especially in the largest of organizations--it may not be feasible for each member of any given team to know how to perform all of the unit's functions. Fair enough. But, if you can't perform all of the various roles, at least you can have conscious and periodically articulated appreciation of those functions and the people who perform them. Such is the case with administrative professionals and support staff. Now I'm not saying that the administrative professional's' job is likened to "cleaning the latrine"--a job no one else wants to perform--but I am saying that, often times, the administrative professionals' important function seems to go unnoticed (just like a clean latrine often goes unnoticed and, let's face it...it's sometimes a "dirty" job, but someone's gotta do it"!).

Now is the time--right now, during Administrative Professionals' Week, April 23rd - 27th, and Admin Professionals' Day on Wednesday, April 25th--to stop taking these values members of our workplace teams for granted and give them the praise and metaphoric (and even literal) standing ovations they so well deserve. Who knows, by sincerely and authentically doing so--just like the earlier mentioned and recently reported Japanese toilet-cleaning superstition--your luck may very well improve; and even if it doesn't, you've done a good turn in acknowledging valued and often unsung members of your team. So, go on...praise and scrub away!

The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was. -- Author unknown, but probably an Administrative Professional!

No one who achieves success does so without acknowledging the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude. -- Author Unknown

I can no other answer make, but, thanks, and thanks. -- William Shakespeare

Next to excellence is the appreciation of it. -- William Makepeace

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. -- William Arthur Ward

Appreciation is a wonderful thing. It makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well. -- Voltaire

Appreciate everything your associates do for the business. Nothing else can quite substitute for a few well-chosen, well-timed, sincere words of praise. They're absolutely free and worth a fortune. -- Author Unknown

The Sound of Service Excellence

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 03:23:00 -0400

Are professional graces and manners--polite on-the-job behaviours and attitudes once thought a matter of "common decency"--going the way of current stock markets? Are many workers, of all stripes and in all industries, experiencing such a sense of smoldering stress that they either cannot or will not demonstrate anything beyond the bare basic technicalities of their job descriptions? Why is it that, in increasing numbers, everyone seems to be complaining sub-standard customer service?

Today, after repeatedly calling my Japanese car company's Canadian head office--repeatedly because all I could get for a solid 10 minutes was a rapid busy signal!--I was "greeted" by a mumbling man with a "from-the-get-go" belligerent tone. By the way, I mention the nation associated with my car company because it occurs to me that some may think I'm referencing a North American car company (and that, considering the current economic times in that industry, what I'm about to share is easier explained if you thought I was referencing, e.g. GM or Chrysler, etc.). This representative of the Japanese car company in question did not use any greeting to answer the phone--merely the name of his department, spoken gruffly, with suppressed exasperation and without any reference to his own name. When I asked for his name, he merely repeated the department's. When I asked again, for his name, he said he didn't need to give it and, essentially, "What did I want, anyway?" As I felt we had gotten off to such a bad start and since I didn't--I confess--have my usual patience to deal with and rise above his curt greeting manner, I asked that another representative take my call. To this he retorted, "There is no one else. It's lunchtime." And promptly hung up the phone!

Yesterday I received a phone call from my neighbourhood X-ray and Ultrasound clinic, reminding me of my routine appointment today. The phone call went like this (and again the organization's representative demonstrated an amazingly brusque voice tone): Nina Spencer? Yes. This is the ultrasound clinic...you have an appointment at 8:30 a.m. tomorrow. She barely waited for me to acknowledge, before hanging up the phone! I knew the caller (and she knew me from my recurring visits thought the years; we'd even had a lovely chat about her son the professional comedian last time I was in...and, we are on friendly terms, by the way). And so I said, "Hey there Barb...is everything okay...my goodness you were brusque with me just there!" "Well I'm just trying to get through all these calls I have to make", was her response and justification for treating a known client in such a manner.

And these sorts of stories go on and on...any day of any week. Private Sector. Public Sector. Big company. Little one. Doesn't matter. You've probably got one or two of your own tales to tell/that you'd like to share, right now!

Is this acceptable...that employees feel justified in treating clients or customers abruptly and tersely because they are in a hurry, understaffed and/or overworked, etc.? Yes, it may well be management's fault that many staff members have too much to do and too little resources, or too little time, in which to complete their daily tasks, but it is not the client/not the customer who should know about it, pay the price, experience the frustration or feel the disrespect.

No matter what the justification for communicating otherwise--especially in times of economic challenge--staff on the frontline/the ones who directly deal and relate to the consumer/the client must "suck it up", put on their "best bib" and demonstrate honest-to-goodness grace, manners and respect for those consuming their services or products.

So what customer service "nightmares" can you regale? Or, on the contrary, I'd love to hear your "Wow Factor" service excellence tales of heroics, too! Perhaps all of us will be encouraged and inspired to keep the faith by such positive tales you may report.

Using Your Contacts and Actually Asking for What You Want

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 02:35:00 -0400

The other day a beautifully dressed young man, attired in full business regalia, knocked on my door wishing to make his professional introductions as a newly minted financial advisor with a well known financial institution. He was inspired to try the good old fashioned, door-to-door approach of stirring the pot to secure new clients. Funnily enough, I'm already with his very organization, but with a different advisor. Still, there was something so sincere, so earnest and authentic about him/about his zeal and enthusiasm to "get out there and get at it", that I couldn't resist wanting to help him out. I gave him the following feedback:

What he did right?

presented immaculately in quality professional dress
positioned himself nicely with a genuine smile and articulate manner
asked permission--actual permission--to proceed in conversation with me (rather than just blithering on from the start without giving me a moment to get a word in edgewise)
wore his official identification from his organization, including his institution's collateral print materials

What he did wrong?

did not present his personal business card (just his organization's)
when departing, he did not offer his phone number or business address
did not ask me if there was anyone I knew who might be interested in hearing from him, even if I was not

Now, the skeptics among you may think this an odd experience and perhaps even a scam--door-to-door financial advisor sales from a reputable institution??? Maybe it was, but I suspect not. More likely, he was just an inexperienced 20 something young man trying to do whatever it takes to getting his start, in professionally challenging times, in his chosen field of financial advising.

No matter what your age, and especially when it comes to asking for a leg up related to your career and professional advancement, remember to always ASK for the help you want. People are busy. Cut to the chase and actually ask for the "sale" (as fine sales people everywhere know!). Shamelessly and courageously working and networking your circle of influence and contacts is fine, and even expected, as long as you do so with grace and manners. Remember, the answer is always, "No!", if you don't ask. You've got to ask. Some people, indeed, are mind readers, extra generous, insightful, etc., and may very well, unprompted, offer you the help, the advice and the contacts you so ardently desire, but most are not. Most of those "others" probably would gladly help you if you asked, but won't if you don't. Most of the time it's up to you to move yourself forward first...and then, with a little help from your friends you can travel the rest of the way.

Accepting rejection and rejecting acceptance

Sat, 27 Sep 2008 21:32:00 -0400

I've been speaking for a living for more than two decades. I'm still going at it strong and am booked each year to the extent I wish (and often times repeatedly by the same clients). So I must still be doing something right, as my client "Accolades"--well documented at ninaspencer.com will attest. Still, from time-to-time, it's hard for any speaker--professional or otherwise--to please all of the people all of the time. And if you must present at professional or staff events from time-to-time, yourself--as an "other duties as assigned" obligation or task, rather than as your primary professional focus--your skin for receiving the odd negative evaluation may not be as thick as that of a seasoned professional speaker. Even with a good, tough thick skin, however, we're all human and, therefore, underneath all that exuding confidence there just might be, from time-to-time, at least a little vulnerability to negative comments.

So how do you process and come to peace with negative evaluations after a presentation? Even if 90% of participants rate your presentation exceptional, how do you keep from being consumed by the thought that some people rated your efforts poorly? Do you adjust to try to please everyone, or do you merely surrender that there may always be some who rate you poorly? How do speakers internally process and move forward, after reading or hearing poor reports about their work, rather than dwelling on those negatives f-o-r-e-v-e-r?

Here are some silly and serious thoughts, suggestions and pearls of wisdom that just might help:

You must accept rejection and reject acceptance. -- Ray Bradbury

Blame it on heartburn! Even if 999 people are "buying" what you're "selling"--laughing at your humour, playing along with your audience participation facilitation, etc.--there's often one guy sporting a conspicuous grimace who'll catch and hold your attention. Just tell yourself, "That, pour old soul...he must have heartburn, and his lack of response and his miserable disposition--written all over his face--has nothing to do with me."
Remember, there are people out there you couldn't please if you twirled on your head spitting nickels! You may remind them of an ex-spouse or an irritating friend or colleague; they may have been forced to attend this event at which you're speaking, or have a permanent chip on their shoulder for reasons that have nothing to do with you!
Go into your presentation or training anticipating one negative remark from at least one person; when you finally spot that one negative piece of feedback (for which you're already prepared and braced) declare, "Yup, there it is...the one I expected!" Often times you can even tell--right there in the middle of your presentation--from whom you'll receive such a comment. And lots of times you'll receive only glowing reports and feedback about your contributions. Of course, that can happen, too! J
Take gushy, mushy over-the-top GREAT evaluations with a grain of salt, too. In those such cases, it could merely be that the participant waxes poetic about your presentation because you remind them of someone they love, or you said just the right thing at just the right time in their lives, or they may even be physically attracted to you! Let's face it, all you have to do is smile at some participants and you'll be rated highly (they don't call 'em "smiley sheets" for nothin'!) Still read those "smiley sheets; sift for truth in those positive participants' comments and compare their feedback to the majority of other evaluations. One good tid bit of advice, "Eat the meat and spit out the bones."
Some speakers practice losing the top and bottom. That is to say: discard the top 10% and the bottom 10% of the evaluations and read and seriously consider the feedback from the rest.
To some extent, all evaluations are valuable. Remember, however, there are always one or two that are way out of line from all the others. I've always liked the expression: "Some will; some won't; so what...next!" Saying "so what" isn't meant to be arrogant or flippant about thos ethat "won't (play along)...it merely offers the suggestion that it's past now...can't be fixed with that individual, so move on! If one criticism does continue to turn up, however, it's time for some heavy professional introspection and examination of what you're putting "out" up there on that platform.
Year's ago I had a friend who hadn't missed a day of work in 10 years and still her boss would NEVER give her a perfect score for attendance, declaring that no one ever gets "perfect; "perfect" is the unattainable...that which you use as a beacon but can never achieve! What kind of thinking is that??? In that same vein, remember, like the stingy boss, there'll always be some people who just can't bring themselves to give someone high marks, even if they really did enjoy and get tremendous value from your presentation. Perhaps because of the nature of their jobs/professions, e.g. like lawyers, they may be wired to look for flaws...to constantly be adversarial...to look for the argument...the rebuttal. Therefore, be aware of this possiblity and focus on the participants you've helped instead.
Remember this: Every day we meet and re-meet people we like and don't like and we don't necessarily consciously know why we feel the way we do/why they trigger us positively or negatively. It's just so...a fact. The same can happen with a participant in your audience. The negativity expressed may not necessarily truly pertain to you, but rather, to them...perhaps transmitting their feelings towards themselves in relation to others, e.g. feelings of low self-esteem. Therefore, focus your efforts on the majority of the participants who appreciated your stellar effort and performance. Sometimes negative evaluations are just as much a reflection of the evaluator as they are of the person being evaluated (presenter).
To play a bit of devil's advocate, however, consider that sometimes a participant's negative evaluation may not be a product of their miserable personality but, rather, merely a well intended report letting you know that your presentation did not meet their expectation. Sometimes such comments can offer a fabulous morsel inspiring you to rearrange your presentation style or content for another time, causing future presentations to impress future audiences all the better. The "bad" news now can end up being the "good" news later that aids your professional improvement and growth. The bottom line...look for trends in comments and think about this sage advice: once is an incident, twice is a trend, three times is a pattern. If these negative comments come up on more than three percent of one event's evaluations, or on three occasions, or with three different kinds of groups/professionals/industries, etc., it may very well be time to reconsider your presentation content and style of delivery.

Despite it all, if you've received a tough evaluation of your presentation, it's always a good idea--if you're open to it--to check in with your client/the person who booked you or invited you to speak in the first place. Although each participant in the moment of presentation is your client, in the end, it's the root client--the "one who brung you"--who's opinion really counts! That is the person with whom you contracted and made your performance agreements. Were they pleased with your contribution? In your conversation with that individual, you may remind: What you perceive you brought to the event and the manner in which you delivered what you promised; ask if they agree with your perception/see it the same way you. Ask : Did I meet your expectations? Consider: Despite the negative feedback, did you get any spin-off business or invitations to speak elsewhere? If so, that is a positive testament to your contribution (that counters the negative comments that may have weighed on you heavily). I've heard it said that, typically, 5% of any audience will not like you, just because. Deal with it. Accept that fact. Learn. Grow. And keep on enjoying and sharing what you have to offer...what you have to share.

To speak well in public--to hold an audiences' attention for long lengths of time--is a skill and a gift, and takes a lot of gumption...most people would rather die than do it. Keep that in mind next time! And wear a bulletproof vest for those occasional negative comments.

Back-to-School and Back-to-Professional Conferences:

Mon, 11 Aug 2008 01:14:00 -0400

How to get the best bang for your conference buck

Here it comes...almost back-to-school time once again, and time for something else, too! The professional conference season--autumn meetings and beyond--is almost upon us, as well. Attending such events offer up such a deluge of information that, as one colleague expresses, "It feels like you've just drunk from a fire hose!" So, to get the biggest "bang for your conference buck", here are a collection of tips for integrating all that fabulous 2008/2009 conference learning and experience:

1. As soon after the conference as possible--even while still at the event, e.g. while in your hotel room or while enroute home (if travelling by plane, train, but not automobile--not if you're the one driving, that is!) block 1-2 hours for amalgamation and condensing of all your newly acquired information. How? Well, firstly, whether you took paper or electronic notes, retrieve and review. Practice the, "Law of 72"--not 1972!--the idea that that which you review and begin to implement within 72 hours (from exposure or suggestion) is much more likely to come to pass. Secondly, flash back to all those intervals in-between the formal keynotes and concurrent/breakout sessions, e. g. the informal or formal networking opportunities, the luncheon(s) and dinner(s) and even the scheduled or stolen free time. What did you observe (about yourself and others) during these in-between moments? Whom did you meet? At the corresponding trade-fair/exhibits 9if any), at which vendors' booths did you visit/stop for a chat? What interesting and spontaneous conversations did you stoke or partake? What did you learn from those exchanges? Did any interesting moments of serendipity occur/small world stories?

2. Gather all business cards you collected. From that bunch, determine with whom you really want to reconnect after the conference; make a tentative plan or note to follow up within the first 14 days after the event. With whom, from that bunch of cards/people, could you see yourself partnering, learning, or perhaps receiving mentorship; on the other hand, with whom would you like to offer mentorship? Reflect on why you exchanged cards with each person in the first place. Did you initiate the exchange or did they? What was the spark for you, or what do you think the spark was for the other to initiate the exchange of cards? Try to recall the conversation leading up to the exchange to help you realize your answer. And, although this is now somewhat of an age-old suggestion, as soon after the exchange as possible, write on the received card all the particulars that pertain to that individual, eg. physical attributes, distinguishing features, anecdotal info they may have shared, turn of phrase they may have used, children, pets, places travelled, anything unusual or quirky they may have shared. Quickly jotting down all this data will free your poor brain from having to recall all this information on its own and help you anchor your recollection of the individual if/when next you meet or chat.

3. Identify your 3 best or favourite "take-aways". Commit to implementing each take-away as soon as possible once you're back to work. If any of the take-aways require planning or extra effort to implement, chunk down the inspired ideas into manageable tasks, using realistic yet optimistic timelines for ultimate roll-out.

4. Plan a meeting with a professional colleague, business coach, the person to who you report, etc., and discuss/share your three favourite take-aways, along with your vision for implementation. Ask for accountability and feedback support you suspect will be required to see these ideas manifest.

5. Prioritize the implementation of each of your favourite conference ideas based on your own business strategy, vision and goals. Keep your prioritized list handy, e.g. on a white board or cork board, under your desk blotter, in your briefcase and/or, of course, stored somewhere easily accessible and frequently reviewed on your computer. Refer to your list often, checking off each conference-inspired item as you complete.

6. Share key learnings with your work team and other professional colleagues (both within your organization and beyond). This is a terrific way to reinforce your personal commitment and vision to implementing your beast take-aways, offers the receiver of your sharing a chance to learn something new/new food for thought for their own professional growth, and even further extends the 'bang" for your conference buck.

Moving Beyond Your "Berry-Picking" Job

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 12:13:00 -0400

July is raspberry time in my backyard and the choice pickings go on and on for weeks! The quiet of this past early Sunday morning was picture perfect for plucking an ample bowl for breakfast and folding in a working meditation along the way. When my mind strayed, it went to thoughts of the mantra, "Grow organically and support local markets". I thought, "Hmm. You can't get any more organic than growing produce in your own backyard, nor can you get a more local market than your own threshold; hey...this applies to the workplace, too!"

Too often employees just know they're the perfect "organic", "local market" candidate for certain jobs within their own companies but find they can't catch the listening of those in the selection process. And that's too bad for everyone concerned. That's what you call a lose-lose-lose. The employee loses the opportunity to professionally develop, the company loses the opportunity to select someone who already knows the ropes and the corporate culture, and the client potentially loses, too, as everyone knows that new "outsider" staff, right off the street, have at least 3 to 6 months of learning curve before they are fully-functioning, productive members of their teams.

It's frustrating to feel ignored--or worse, dismissed--when putting forth your fine candidacy for a new position. You know what they say, "It's hard to be a prophet in our own house"! So, you can passively point outwards and blame your employer for not seeing your talent and gifts, or you can actively point inwards/at yourself and work on strategies for making yourself more visible.

Ask yourself:

How hard am I constructively working on being acknowledged/recognized?
For what projects or special company events (internal or external/community focused, company sponsored) have I volunteered?
Have I kept a written record of my participation?
What are my specific successes on-the-job? Can I list at least three immediately? If not, why not? What can I do to turn that around?
Have I had a heart-to-heart with the person to whom I report regarding my desire to be acknowledged and get promoted? If not, why not? If such a conversation has not occurred because of personality differences or a cool relationship, what are one or two things I can do to warm the relationship up?
Have I specifically asked for what I want--shared my vision for my future within this organization--and then requested internal coaching (eg. from my most direct boss) to help me get there?
Have I kept my patience and persevered when things haven't gone my way?

My dear mum used to say, "All comes to those who wait". Having at least some patience getting to where you want to go is imperative, however, where is it written that you have to wait for your "ship to come in" so passively? If your "ship" isn't coming in fast enough for you, actively swim out to it!

In the meantime, if you're feeling--especially during these dog days of summer--that your day-in and day-out "berry-picking" job is mundane, underappreciated, boring, bland (you get my drift!), remember...all jobs have importance...a certain glory. If they didn't, they wouldn't exist! Both the most high-up/highly profiled executive positions, as well as the most humble of frontline occupations, are essential to the success of any organization.

* See pages 33 to 45 of my book, Getting Passion Out of Your Profession: How to keep loving your living, come what may, for more on the subject of acknowledging and declaring your Professional Self-Worth.